Tuesday, December 12, 2006
And so, I'm spending this week repairin' to be ordained a priest. One might rightly say that I've been repairin' to be ordained a priest for the past seven years, and maybe even before that. But this week, it seems, I'm focusing more on the logistics. There are a lot of plans that need to (and will) fall into place. I'm practicing celebrating the Eucharist, practicing the words and the manual acts - working out the best way to do them so that I can be both authentic to myself and this congregation. I'm practicing my singing and chanting (even taking official voice lessons, as I believe I've mentioned, from a parishioner). I spoke a bit about my own reflections on all of this (specifically on what my call means to me) in my sermon last Sunday, which, in all honesty, may have been the best sermon I've delivered in my entire life. As soon as it's available I'll point you to an audio file of it.
The gravity of what is about to happen is finally settling in a bit. I had a series of four dreams two nights ago, each of which involved death or the threat of death in a different area/aspect of my life. I've taken this to mean that a certain part of me is about to die, so that I may be fully reborn as a priest of Christ's one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church. That doesn't make it any less scary, though in the final of the four dreams (which was the most direct and graphic), I had no sensation of fear or pain.
Last month sometime I had a neat ordination dream, too. In it I was walking across the lawn between my house and the church early one Sunday morning. I was to preach that Sunday. As I am walking I realize I am naked, but I am carrying a blue shirt on a hanger over my shoulder. I am not nervous or fearful that I am naked, it is just a matter of fact. I hear the voice of the Boss Man calling from behind me, "I see you." I turn and reply, "I know." I think to myself, "I know I'll get dressed once I get to church."
So God, repair/fix/prepare my heart and soul to hear those words, "...and make him a priest in your Church."
You have always impressed me as someone who, as a priest, will recognize that you are a channel and not The Source.
And so, I join all those who pray for the Holy Spirit to rest in you and to give you just enough discomfort to make a difference in our world.
I have had similar dreams, usually before I am about to preach.
Blessings to you as you prepare for this new chapter in your life. All the best!
By 12:29 PM, at
How exciting! Today is the anniversary of my ordination. I won't ever forget that feeling, with holy hands from so many Priests upon me, and those words spoken....you won't ever be the same, and you are as ready as you can be.
Ontological - I think so...