The Vocare weekend was wonderful, but perhaps not in the ways in which it was designed to be wonderful. For me, at least. The fear, the irrational fear I was mentioning last post was indeed irrational. I think the Ref's comment was right - I was afraid of how we would relate to one another as adults and that it would not be as good as I remember the so called "glory" days being.

My friends and I related fine, and as adults. First there was some astonishment when we saw each other. Hugs were had. The necessary questions were asked. Stunned looks were passed (I've lost my hair and gained significant, but good, bulk since the last time we saw each other). But then, we began making new memories after reliving the old one for only a short while. Most importantly, we praised God together with a new song, in a new way, on a new day. And that was what we did best all along anyway. I once wrote that I hoped I was far from finished making memories at DaySpring and this weekend helped me understand that I can and will make new and wonderful memories there. I don't know why I was so afraid I wouldn't. So, in that way, the Vocare weekend was wonderful for me. It was also wonderful to be able to experience a renewal weekend where both my brother and I were participants at the same time. That was special.

The weekend did not help me to figure out what my calling was in life. Parts of the weekend reinforced what I've already gathered to be my calling (and a good thing that is, too!), but there were no big revelations. So, I engaged the weekend on a different level. And I forced myself to make new friends and to not spend all my time with my old ones. And I did make new ones. I met some awesome people. I did spend some time with my old friends, too, though, yet in a new way. Like, I held my friend Lyndsey's 4 month old. The baby and I danced, and sang, and praised together - it was fun, and I'm sure it was cute. I talked with my friend Brad about his job and how he's buying a house. They talked with me about ordination.

Speaking of ordination, I had another mini one this weekend. At the end of the closing eucharist, the priest said, "Now we want to do something very special. One of our number is talking a significant step in his spiritual journey with God next month. In December, Ryan will be ordained to the priesthood and we want to pray for him. So will everyone come up and lay hands on him as we pray." And they did. It was incredibly powerful, moving, and a total God moment. I knew deep down, I guess, that I could not escape a DaySpring weekend without shedding a tear or four. They say that part of the ordination process is being lifted up, called out, by your peers. Never before have I felt that as strongly as I did this morning. That sense of support from my peers. It was amazing. Thank you, God.

The verse from the weekend was Psalm 16:8, and I'll end this post with it:

"I keep the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved."

I shall not be moved. I shall not be shaken. Because the LORD is always before me.

-R