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Sunday, May 01, 2005


Train Conversation Snippets 

Girl 1: "Would you do him if he were straight?"
Girl 2: "Hell yes! He's fine! But, he's gay..."
Girl 1: "I know!"
Guy 1: "He's not that fine."
Girl 2: "That's my problem - I meet all these fine guys and they're all gay!"
Guy 1: "I'm homo."
Girl 1: "We know."
Girl 2: "Why can't I meet any fine, straight guys?"
Me: "Pardon me. I have to ask a question here. You wanna meet a straight guy, yet you hang out with gay guys all the times."
3 Gay Guys at once: "Yep!"
Girl 2: "I know! I can't meet any straight men!"
Me: "Well...this is funny...maybe you should hang out where straight guys hang out, if you want to meet straight guys."
Guy 3: "Are you straight?"
Me: "Yes."
Guy 3: "Damn. Well if you ever want to experiment...(points to Guy 2)...he's available."
Me: "I'll keep that in mind, I guess."
Girl 2: "I still can't meet any straight guys!"
Me: (extends hand) Hi, nice to meet you."
Girl 2: "Nice to meet you too..."
Train: "This is Loyola."
Group: "This is our stop. Gotta go." (they exit)
Random Guy: "Always entertaining...drunk people."
Me: "Yep, just like Cosby said, they put a show in every car."
Random Guy: "She's confused, that's her problem."
Me: "Yep. Definitely confused."
Random Guy: "She'll figure it out though...or she'll just be frustrated for a long time..."
Train: "This is Jarvis."
______________________________________________

Man: "I told you nooooo! I said no!!! no! no! no!!!!"
Man 2: "Oh boy. Here we go."
Me: "Yep."
Man 2: "I'm glad I haven't lost my mind. Close, but not yet."
Me: "Well, there's something anyway."
Man 1: "Noooo! Noooo! I said no! I don't....I can't... nooooo!" (shaking hands in the air furiously)
Me: "It's sad , really."
Man 2: "Yeah, but at least he can ride the train. The train doesn't discriminate."
______________________________________________

Guy 2: "You want some wine?"
Random Guy: "I don't have a cup."
Guy 2: "Here, I have an extra. (pulls a sleve of styrofoam cups out of his bag)
Random Guy: "Man comes prepared."
Girl 2: "That's my wine."
Guy 1: "You haven't drank your glass yet."
Girl 2: "Oh yeah."
Random Guy: "Thanks."
(time passes, group gets off train)
Random Guy: (sipping wine) "This tastes like shit."
Random Guy 2: "Well, it was free wine from drunk college kids. What do you expect? Plus, it's white wine..."

-R

1 Comments:

Too funny! Next time I have to take a long train ride, I'm taking you with me.

By Blogger Beth, at 1:31 PM  


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