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Monday, August 30, 2004


A Little Colder 

As he walked out of the building, he wrapped his arms around himself and rubbed, warning off the chill breeze. Why was it so cold on his arms in shirt sleeves? Something was not quite right. He felt a little...well, a little lighter. A little lighter on the right side to be specific. Also a little quieter. The familiar jangle so constant had been silenced as his lanyard hung about his neck, empty of its former authority. His right hip felt more freedom too. It was altogether a strange morning and he couldn't quite figure out why. What was different? He continued his walk, his pace a little brisker now to match the wind. A siren sounded in the distance, but he paid it no mind and kept walking. No chirp answered the siren. As he reached his car and turned his key, he looked back at the building, reaching high into the sky. It was his still, in a way, but also a stranger. The vehicle cranked and he pulled out of his spot, turning left at the light. Giving two quick blasts of his horn, he pulled out into the lane, turning his back on the familiar yet enigmatic edifice.

My neck was lighter from having turned in my keys and badge. My hip no longer indented by the presence of a chirping pager. My arms succumbing to the nip in the air because my lab coat lay folded across a secretary's desk. Consequently, my shoulders straightened easier not being weighed down by the constant presence of my now infamous hip pocket Prayer Book. As I left the hospital this morning after my double shift, I left it both less and more than when I had arrived, turning my back on what had been my home for the past twelve weeks. Having divested myself of the symbols of my authority, I had given up my warrant to be there. However, what I gained was my mandate to go into the world having discovered that what I had become there was what I always was - chaplain.

-R

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