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Tuesday, July 06, 2004


Find Yourself a Seminarian

A while ago I remarked that one of Myra's friends had located an article in Jane magazine which stated that seminarians are among the top candidates for dating partners if you're looking to spice up your dating life (should you have one). Well, yesterday, she gave me a copy of the article and it's hysterical. It comes from the June/July 2004 volume, pp. 143-145. While it certainly all is not true of me, and a little crass in places, it's a pretty funny article nonetheless. A woman by the name of Katy McColl is the presiding authority. The text pertaining to seminarians is as follows:

"Find Yourself a Seminarian
So convince me Katy: Religious training is all about questioning everything, so seminary students are at a most open-minded, even experimental, place. Like Prince, just before he dove headlong into being a Jehovah's Witness. They're also compassionate and tend to be fond of automated e-mail signatures that include inspiritational musings.
What's in it for me? 'What I found different was that he was really into getting to know me spiritually, which was kind of exciting but weird,' says Ann, 25, who was just dumped by a guy in a seminary because 'he was concerned that our physical relationship was preceding our emotional relationship.'
But, I'll be damned if that's not the opposite of Jenny's experience: 'This one seminarian, who all my friends thought was so boring, was deciding whether or not to be a Catholic priest...kinkiest guy I ever met,' the 27-year-old says. 'He wanted to gag me with his blue plaid terry-cloth bathrobe tie during sex. He baked his own Communion bread, by the way, and it was really, really good.'
Win points by using the word "exegesis". It means to interpret in a biblical sense. As for the action, 'Just be prepared to be surprised,' says my friend Marie, who has a love/hate relationship with seminarians ever since the one she was dating hit on her former best friend. 'My ex said that when you have this stigma on you, that you don't do that, then you do that and you do it really well.'
Where to find one: 'In a bar, at an antiwar protest, presiding over a gay marriage, sitting in the back row of The Passion with their notebook, scribbling about how biblically inaccurate it is,' suggests Marie.
The end: When I asked Jenny how long she went out with her 'horny priest', she says, 'I didn't. I screwed around with him for a couple of months and then he stopped calling.' Expect to be given up for Lent if the chemistry gets stale or if you refuse to stop with the 'What would Jesus do?' jokes."

There ya have it folks. Straight from Jane's mouth, so take it for what you will. Other categories of interesting types of guys to date include organic farmers, the homeless, transgendered persons, an Amish, and a young politician.

-R

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