Of Grocery Stores and Pranks

Why I "love" living in the North:

At the grocery store-

(Produce section of a grocery store. Enter RYAN from stage left, pushing grocery cart. Approaches green peppers, sees an older man standing there perusing the peppers.)

RYAN: How're they looking today sir?
MAN: (long pause) You've got eyes.

(Fade to black.)
(End scene.)

Now, for something more humorous, a brief tale of the exploits of my adventurous little brother. He is 16 years old and a high school sophomore, soon to be junior. As a high school student, Brennan loathes going to the library. First of all, there are books there: the bane of his young existence. So, he seeks other forms of amusement when he must grace those quieted walls. Searching high and low for the perfect book to pull of his prank, he finally comes across the book entited Dealing With Incest. He then locates a hapless, unsuspecting freshman who happens to be away from his bag for the moment. Then, he buries said tome in the bag and waits. When the freshman exits the library, the alarm goes off, indicating someone is walking out with an unchecked-out book: the cardinal sin of the library, next to talking too loudly. The freshman willingly submits to the bag search, knowing he has done no wrong; surely it must be a mistake. Alas, alas, alas for the freshman. On top of the embarrassment of having his bags searched, he suffers the added embarrasment of having the librarian discover Dealing With Incest. The humor at this point should be self-explanatory.

-R